I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
