dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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