forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
