I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
