It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
