I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
