omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
