I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
This house was built for laser tag.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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