Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
