remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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