no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
How does it feel to date your dad?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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