any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
