the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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