At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i dont even know how to be here
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
