If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she woke up with a sticky ear
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize