my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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