my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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