in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
