When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
