smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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