Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
