I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize