For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Someone came in the potted fern
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
