I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
So much Jack, so little girl.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
