I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Randomize
