Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
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