Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
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