They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
