benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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