if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
