My room smells like vodka and shame
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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