Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
