were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
