hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
