I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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