I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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