Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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