i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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