I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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