need another drink. this is the easiest way
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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