you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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