Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
