so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize