I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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