we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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