Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
