: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
As shirtless as possible
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
