apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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