i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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