I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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