I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
