I could make wine with my vomit
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
