I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
