I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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