Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
