She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize
