Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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