i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Randomize
