In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize