Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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