stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
