I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
