for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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