Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
