The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
